Vayigash: December 26, 2020/11 Tevet 5781

Three years ago, my dad was invited to read the afternoon Torah reading for Yom Kippur at the Reform synagogue he and my stepmother attend. The verses listed were not the traditional reading from Leviticus, bit rather a selection from this week's portion. I was confused by this difference in the Torah reading, as the traditional selection deals with sin and holiness, while the Reform portion seemed to be a simple narrative about how the Israelites ended up in Egypt. When I had the opportunity to ask the rabbi about it, he pointed out that the passage, which I saw as being about the Jews going down to Egypt, was also the episode of Joseph's reconciliation with his brothers.

As we talked about last week, Joseph had framed Benjamin for stealing a goblet and demanded his imprisonment as a test of character for his brothers. Judah passes the test with flying colors, making an impassioned plea and citing the distress losing both of Rachel's son's would cause Jacob. When Joseph sees that his brothers have changed, he is ready to reconcile. 

He sends his courtiers away and reveals his identity to his brothers. He invites the whole family to come down to Egypt, and they do, beginning the last phase of the narrative of the Patriarchs.

While last week's parashah was about repenting for our wrongdoing, this week is about forgiveness. Joseph would be justified in holding his brothers' actions against them. They plotted to murder him, threw him in a well, and then sold him into slavery, during which experience he was sexually assaulted and then thrown in prison. And then his brothers come me grovelling to him for food. But payback is not Joseph's way. He follows the dictate that will later be expounded by Joshua ben Perahia in Pirkei Avot: "judge all people favorably". Joseph gives his brothers the chance to show that they have changed, and once they do, he forgives them. In a perfect world, we would always be able to forgive those who have wronged us, especially when they are our family. We don't live in a perfect world though, and not everything can be looked past. When someone does come to ask our forgiveness, if it is done sincerely and with an intention of changing, then we should give them that opportunity. Likewise, when we wrong people, we owe it to ourselves and to them to sincerely try not to repeat our actions that hurt them, so that we deserve to be forgiven.

Although at first I didn't understand the rationale for reading this section on Yom Kippur, it makes perfect sense - while we spend the whole day fasting and praying for God's forgiveness for all of our sins, only the wronged party can absolve us. If we have sinned against God, then God can forgive us. If we sin against our fellow humans, we have to at least try to obtain their forgiveness first before the heavenly slate is wiped clean. But we need not restrict our forgiveness, both asking and granting it, to the time right around the Days of Awe. We should be quick to realize when we need to apologize, and act in a way to make sure that we don't have to apologize for the same thing over and over again. To err is human, but to forgive need not be divine, as long as the person is deserving of forgiveness.